A relationship?

I always enjoy staying with my friends the Cohens in Far Rockaway when I have a speaking tour in NY.  Besides being a generally wonderful, kind and generous person, Mrs. Cohen usually offers me opportunities to sample the area’s abundant offerings of shiurim (classes and lectures).  Yesterday, I had the opportunity to hear Sarah Yocheved Rigler speak.

Last March a mutual friend of ours suggested that I connect with Sarah Yocheved;  that we might have a lot in common.  Sarah lives in Israel as I do, and yet, somehow life got in the way and I allowed the opportunity to connect with Sarah in Israel to slip through my fingers.

Now, here I am back in the US at the same time as Sarah Yocheved, and my friend Mrs. Cohen informs me that she is speaking locally.  So, we walk into the room packed with women and Mrs. Rigler begins speaking about having a relationship with Hashem – not only is this a subject that is near and dear to my heart, but the subject I have been planning on writing about in my next book!  On top of that, Mrs. Rigler began to quote statistics about the number of Jewish people who have embraced some form of Christianity – I was listening to my own lecture!

It was very hard to sit still for the rest of the lecture, which Mrs. Rigler gave so beautifully.  But I am proud of myself that I did.  At the end of the talk I did stand up and introduce myself and confirm to the audience the statistics which Sara Yocheved had given during her talk.  In addition, I added, 90% of the Jewish people who believe in Jesus that I counsel cite a lack of a personal relationship with God as the reason that they didn’t look to Judaism when they were seeking spirituality and introduced to Christianity.  I would say that at least 80% of these people had never even heard of the idea of a relationship with God within the context of Judaism and didn’t believe me when I told them that Judaism teaches it too.

I am so thrilled to finally hear this being taught within the Jewish community with my own ears.  I knew it wasn’t a new concept in Judaism, and Mrs. Rigler did a great job of explaining that the Rambam, the Ramchal and the Chofetz Chaim were all proponents of this idea.  No, Rebbe Nachman was not alone in teaching that we all need to take time each day to develop a personal and intimate relationship with God.

Have you taken time to talk to Hashem today?

To Sleep or not to sleep

Monday night around midnight I boarded a plane to New York for my speaking tour. I figured it would be an uneventful flight and I would be able to catch up on some much needed rest. I am one of those very fortunate people who can sleep on the plane, albeit not nearly as soundly as when I am lying in my bed at home. Sometimes I think that I have become conditioned to sleeping sitting up under almost any conditions by the Israeli busses (sorry egged, but Superbus drivers beat you out on erratic driving). Whatever the reason, I can usually count on sleeping through a good part of my flight between the US and Israel.

This flight, however, was not to allow me a full night’s sleep, as I found myself sitting next to very friendly and interesting woman who engaged me in conversation from the beginning. A sabra (native born Israeli) a little older than myself, Talia* had moved from Israel to New York about 30 years ago. Talia never told me why she had moved, but since she was very upfront about being “secular” and about how difficult things used to be in Israel, I inferred that it was to make a better life for herself materially. After 30 years, Talia admitted that she is culturally more American than Israeli and even though she admires Americans like myself who make aliyah for ideological reasons, ignoring the sacrifices required, she doesn’t think that she could go back to Israel.

As we were talking, Talia told me that even though she is secular, she realized early on that in America her children, raised in a secular environment, could easily lose all connection to their Jewishness, and she didn’t want that. So Talia sent her boys to a modern Orthodox Yeshiva to make sure they had a Jewish upbringing even though they were being raised in a secular home. Now, one of her sons, Talia explained, was dating a non-religious Jewish girl. Somehow, the girl was inspired to start lighting candles on Friday night through her relationship with Talia. This made Talia very proud, and it got me thinking…

…approximately 16 years ago I started lighting Friday night candles as a Christian who was completely disassociated from my Judaism except for a few tenuous threads from my family. That one act of lighting candles started me on a journey which eventually led me to become a fully Torah Observant Jewish woman. That first time I lit candles I felt a thin connection to my great-grandmother, the last observant member of her family. Now, every Friday night I light candles and feel a very strong connection, not only to my great-grandmother, but to all the Jewish women who proceeded her – simple women, great Rebbetzins and matriarchs alike.

As I sat there listening to Talia and thinking about what an amazing journey lighting candles has led me on and I wondered if Talia or her son’s girlfriend could be inspired by my journey. I asked her if she would like a copy of my book and she excitedly agreed. Talia began reading the book during the flight. It was a little awkward for me to sit there while she read about my life, but I watched as she turned the pages, fighting off sleep to get to the next section.

Talia didn’t finish the book by the time we landed, but she did say that she found it fascinating and felt it had a lot of important messages that people needed to hear. She said that she would share the book with other people as she thanked me for it. I wish that I could afford to give the book away for free – I can’t, but I thank Hashem for this one opportunity to touch the precious neshama (soul) of a fellow Jew.

Preparing for the Journey

I am leaving in less than 24 hours for my tour in the US.  Wow!  What a lot of work it is to prepare for a journey.  I had to figure out where I was going and when and what I would be doing each step of the way.  Am I taking one suitcase or two? How much clothing does one REALLY need for 2 weeks?  Balancing sensibility with convenience, I ask, “do I really need THAT?”

Life is a journey that requires no less preparation.  In order to truly enjoy the trip, we need to figure out where we are going and what we will need to get there.  It helps to use past experience to guide us in future decisions, but we also need to realize that things may be different on the road ahead.

When I spoke the other night at a local Yeshiva, one of the boys asked me how, after all the changes I’ve been through in my life, I could know that I have reached my final destination spiritually.  Maybe in another 10 years I’ll be singing yet a different tune…

This question is asked about one in three times I speak.  I don’t know why some audiences ask the question and others don’t, I’m surprised it’s not asked more often.

Unfortunately, this is the one question I dread being asked because it’s the one question I don’t have an answer to.  How can anyone know the future?  I am pretty confident in my faith choices, sure that Judaism is the truth with a capital “T”.  But then again, 10 years ago, I thought that about Christianity, too.

Over the years I’ve found that honesty is always the best policy, especially when speaking with teenagers.  Better to admit that I don’t know than to give a confident but shallow answer that is easily seen through or torn apart.  So, I admit to the audience that I can’t say what the future will hold, but that answer doesn’t sit right with me even as the words leave my lips.

Have you ever taken a vacation and just decided that you were going to drive around the country aimlessly, stopping at whatever catches your interest next?  It’s fun for a while, but eventually you realize that you have to make some real decisions.  How long will you wander?  When will you stop?  What is your final destination?  At some point these questions must be answered, and the correct path must be chosen.

As a person born Jewish, we have already been given a specific path to take.  What stops we make along the way are our own choice, to be sure.  But, nothing is more fulfilling than really knowing where you are going and following it to the ultimate destination.  Learning what it really means to be a Jew, and learning to see the bigger picture makes the journey so much more enjoyable.

A journey can you take you on many adventures, but the best one is the one that takes you home.